Bob "the Cat" Bevan Roasts The Duke

In 2000 the Lord’s Taverners celebrated its 50th anniversary and held a dinner in honour of their Patron and 12th Man HRH, Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh. The speakers were, Sir David Frost, Robert Powell, Sir John Mills, Sir Tim Rice and Head of ITV Sport, John Bromley. But the show was stolen by Bob “the Cat” Bevan with his poem “The Duke and I” in which he gently pulled the Duke’s leg for never recognising him. Ten years later he performed “The Duke and I – the Sequel” at the 60th anniversary at St James’s Palace and the Duke responded with one verse about “the Cat”. Sadly there were no cameras present for that occasion. Bevan became a great favourite of the Duke’s and appeared at many functions with him including the Centenary of the Royal Household Cricket Club and the Variety Club 90th birthday tribute to the Duke which also included Barry Humphries, Frank Carson and Al Murray, “the Pub Landlord".

'The Duke and I'

I’d like to test our 12th man’s memory
We first met back in 1983
He knew Frankie Howerd and Frank Carson
He’d even heard of Nicholas Parsons
But he didn’t recognise me

The Variety Club is another good cause
I spoke in his honour and drew some applause
And as he started to go
He did say “Cheerio”
But I don’t think he knew who I was

I went to Windsor, which is a bit of a hike
Too far to go on me bike
I commentated after tea
Then as he walked by me
I heard him say “who’s that bloke on the mike?”

Soon after, though I was full of flu
I struggled out to another Taverners do
I bided my time
As he walked down the line
He looked at me and said “who are you?”

Last year at a garden partee
I said you must remember me
Six o Six on Radio 5
With Wogan on live?
He said “I’m sorry. I never watch TV”

I said “at the risk of being a bore
I’ve just been on Radio 4”
He said “I’ve thought long and well
But you just don’t ring a bell”
He said “Perhaps I should get out a bit more?”

Well, he’s been a Tav for all our lifespan
So he’s got 50 years in the can
(I said to my lady) to us he’s been vital
And it’s an honourable title
Then I found out I’d been her 12th man

His support for us has gone on and on
All these years – where have they all gone?
When he’s spoken he’s been funny
And he’s helped us raise even more money
Than you could spend out shopping with Elton John

It’s thanks to him the Tavs have never been on the skids
At auctions he’s led us to make silly bids
For when he’s turned up at a dinner
He’s been a real winner
And he’s even sent round the kids

A Greek friend last week I had to rebuke
I said “his popularity isn’t a fluke
And while we might well give in
On the Marbles of Elgin
We’d like to hang on to the Duke”

Now I don’t wish to appear flip
In case my ear he should clip
But it seems to me
And my fellow Trustees
He’s given our charity a great Philip

Well I’m so glad we’ve all had this chat
And my little poem has not fallen too flat
I hope, sir, that you are glad you came
And just remember the name
It’s Bob Bevan - but you can call me “Cat”

There’s a post script

So as I come to the end of my shift
And into the night we all drift
I know, sir, you’ve got the use of a car
And, as neither of us live far
I suppose there’s no chance of a lift?